On lazy writing

From: Laurence Shandy
To: MSNBC News Services
Re: Headlines

Dear MSNBC.com,

As an accomplished and award-winning journalist, I understand the tricks of the trade. Most of the time you get your news from the wire services or the television or you just make stuff up and slap your own headline on it. That's what makes the world of news publishing such an attractive and lucrative gig. But I expect a little more creativity from MSNBC. You people got Tucker Carlson to stop wearing that ridiculous bow tie, after all. I'm not asking that you do any actual reporting, but couldn't you honestly come up with a better headline for the Halle Berry pregnancy story than "Berry good! Actress expecting first child"? Here, let's brainstorm a few.

"Bun in the Berry"
"Berry 'Berry' pregnant"
"Is that water weight, or is Berry expecting?"
"Halle shit! Catwoman having litter"
"Boyfriend's semen navigates Berry's cervix, baby results"

Step up your game, MSNBC.com. Or else.

Best wishes,
Laurence Shandy, gentleman