From: Laurence Shandy
To: Whoopi Goldberg, ABC's The View
Re: Michael Vick
Dear Ms. Goldberg,
Congratulations on your new job as co-host of The View. It's nice to have an alternative viewpoint on the issues since Rosie left. Did you know that she heard that 9/11 was an inside job? Try as she might to raise the issue, that harpy Joy Behar kept shouting poor Rosie down. Christ, must everyone be a lackey for scientific evidence?
Anyway, your presence offers a refreshing change of pace. It's not often that daytime television benefits from the unique perspective of the eyebrow-impaired. I was particularly impressed by your insightful commentary on the Michael Vick dogfighting debacle. Indeed, no one seems to sympathize with the fact that Vick grew up in a culture where ripping dogs apart for sport was as innocent as a game of Jenga. I myself also grew up in the south, and I can attest to my own difficulty in adapting my regional ways to a cosmopolitan lifestyle. Did you know that up north women are allowed to pray aloud and black people use the same sewer system as everyone else? During my first year as a New Yorker, I was arrested for indecent exposure in Central Park simply for crawfishing in the nude. Luckily, as little more than a paranoid tourist, I kept my wallet safely lodged up my rectum, so I was able to bail myself out. After all, how could I be expected to phone a friend for money when I didn't see a telephone until my early twenties?
It's about time cultural relativism had a say amongst The View's tampon and cleaning supplies advertisements. I'll bet people like Joy Behar would even be appalled by the fact that some people in the world would rather slice their daughters' vaginae off than shove hygiene products up there. What a Philistine!
Best wishes,
Laurence Shandy, gentleman
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
On understanding
Posted by Laurence Shandy at 9:44 AM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comments:
Whoopi seems awfully inarticulate, but she also seems rather racist in her views. By defending the admitted felon Michael Vick as merely doing something that folks like him do every day in their rural, Southern culture where "this is not questioned," she rushed to defend Vick ... oh, who happens to be black. She rushed to tell (mostly) white folks that it's just a black thing.
She overlooks the fact that Vick and his pals went to great lengths to keep things hidden and under wraps. Why? Because they KNEW it was against the law! Dog-fighters KNOW it's illegal to fight, abuse and kill dogs, as well as to gamble on the fights ... which (as Vick and his buddies did) are usually held secretly. Those guys cannot possibly make a defense that they "was just doin' what we does here in the South."
The race to defend was rather abrupt and while I don't think Whoopi is necessarily a deep-thinker, she should have realized she was defending a true criminal ... who happens to be black.
Post a Comment